Facing miscarriage is challenging – Six Tips on how to be a supportive colleague

Experiencing a miscarriage is an incredibly challenging and often traumatic event. It is estimated that 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, leaving individuals to cope with feelings of grief, loss, isolation, and overwhelm, and often having to juggle these feelings with putting on a “brave face” at work. With the vast majority of women of child-bearing age being in the workplace, it is essential for workplaces to provide support to those affected. Here are four empathetic ways to ensure those navigating miscarriage or baby loss feel supported in your organisation:

1. Respect Their Privacy

Miscarriage is a deeply personal and sensitive topic, especially in a work setting. It's crucial to respect your colleague's privacy and keep any discussions confidential. Share information only if you have explicit permission, as your colleague may not want everyone (or anyone) at work to know. They may feel vulnerable sharing their story, or not want others knowing they are trying to conceive. By doing so, you help foster a respectful and trusting environment where colleagues feel valued and respected.

2. Show Empathy and Compassion

Demonstrating empathy and compassion is vital when supporting someone through difficult times. If your colleague is willing to talk, practice active listening and provide a safe, supportive space for them to express their feelings. Avoid giving unsolicited advice or making assumptions. Simply being present and available to listen can be a powerful form of support. Let them know you are there for them whenever they feel ready to talk.

3. Provide Practical Support

After a miscarriage, individuals may feel emotionally overwhelmed and struggle to manage daily tasks. Offering practical support can be immensely helpful. If they are having difficulty with their workload, consider assisting them with their tasks, with agreement from their manager and if appropriate within your organisation. Additionally, you might arrange a supportive activity outside of work, such as a meal, coffee, or a walk, to provide a safe space for conversation.

4. Be Flexible

A workplace that offers flexibility is crucial for employees navigating the aftermath of a miscarriage. This could include allowing time off for medical appointments and giving them space to recover physically and emotionally. Flexible working arrangements could also be an additional support during this time, allowing women to retain employment but still having some leeway to recover from their circumstances. Employers can provide flexible working by adjusted work hours or offering remote work options. Companies as well as managers should remind employees of their rights and make sure that policies related to bereavement or medical leave are easily accessible and clearly communicated.

5. Be Mindful of Your Language

When someone has experienced a traumatic event like a miscarriage, it's important to be mindful of your language and topics of conversation. Avoid discussing potentially triggering subjects such as baby showers, pregnancy news, or children. This sensitivity helps protect your colleague’s emotional well-being and supports them in moving forward, free from constant reminders at work. Being considerate with your language can significantly contribute to a supportive environment.
Supporting a colleague who has experienced a miscarriage may seem daunting, but at its core, it involves empathy, respect, and compassion.

By offering understanding, respecting privacy, providing practical support, and being mindful of language, you can positively impact your colleague's well-being. Such actions also contribute to a more compassionate and understanding workplace culture, where everyone feels valued and supported during challenging times.