3 Important Questions to Ask at Work If You’re Going Through a Divorce

April 12, 2021

Written by
Katie Lynch

When you’re coping with change in your personal life, juggling your responsibilities at work can be extraordinarily challenging.

When your personal life is suffering, it might feel impossible to focus at work and yet, during times of uncertainty your job and performance are essential to provide financial security and stability.  So how do you manage through it? Consider three important questions:


Most companies now realize that work and life are intertwined and accept that the more their valued employees are supported, the more likely they can thrive through periods of particular personal adversity. Happily, many companies are embracing their role in supporting their employees during difficult times as well as providing traditional happy perks such as food and discounted entertainment access. You might be surprised to find what is available.  

While you might feel embarrassed to discuss your divorce with your employer’s HR department, it might surprise you to know that they want to help and often they have resources available that you might have been unaware of. It is very common for HR to become involved so that they can support you and the exhaustive paperwork process that might very well include documents from them. Start with approaching them and asking what support they offer by way of employee benefit. Do they offer administrative support services, coaching services or access to any technology resources? Do they have an EAP, and if so, are the resources it offers appropriate to your individual circumstances?

On average, a divorce will result in approximately 170 hours of lost working time, which amounts to four working weeks. This is a huge amount of time and can have a real and lasting impact on your professional performance.

First, it is important to be aware of this and to make adjustments where possible to allow for this lost time and where there are not enough hours to do so, seek help.

One of the major misconceptions is that your attorney will carry the burden of your divorce for you. This is not the case, nor should it be. Your attorney will be expensive, and you are hiring them to provide you with legal advice, not to compile paperwork, manage logistics or discuss the practical implications and realities of your separation. Do your research and take advantage of the new and emerging technology tools that are now available which can save you thousands, if not tens of thousands, of dollars and many hours of your time. Dtour.life [http://www.dtour.life/] is the best divorce management platform I have found, and I use it exclusively with my clients. Think of it as the digital backbone of your divorce; whilst you may not think you need it at first the financial organization and analysis tools will help you manage the components of your entire divorce. Other tools such as Divorceify will link you to local professionals and platforms such as Untied can help you find support in your local community.

Where possible and appropriate, you should also engage the help of a specialist divorce consultant, certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) and/or concierge to help you carry the administrative burden of your divorce and ultimately save you time, money and emotional distress.


Research shows that employees in failing relationships operate at an average reduced performance rate of 40%. The stress associated with the divorce or breakup also impacts colleagues or subordinates and can have huge bearing on both mental health and financial wellness. The stress of a divorce can also affect an individual’s appetite for risk, which for people working in financial services can be hugely impactful.
It is not a life transition that can be handled alone or in a vacuum. Seek appropriate support. Divorce is particularly unique in that it is still so confusing to know what do, how to do it or who to call. Engaging a consultant who specializes in supporting executives through divorce or other periods of personal adversity helps clarify the process, bring organization and ensures that you are doing everything possible to try to reduce the impact of your personal situation on your working life.
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